Are you a consultant? An executive? A human?

In which case I defy you to read the following email I just received and not have “Get stuffed” or something more profane running through your mind… (names redacted to protect the guilty – and I’ve worked with lots of BigCo’s in my time, most of whom I’ve really enjoyed).

This is so absurd that I just laughed.

Yes indeedy, I feel immensely valued as a true partner – thank you so much for reaching out.

And I can’t wait to jump through all those complicated hoops. Within your time window. To be treated like an inhuman cog. And comply with your arbitrary systems and processes. Especially since it might compromise my position in any future business we do. And ensure that the engagement is commoditised and transactional. No really, I’d love to work with you again.

Particularly since what you’d likely be hiring me to do as your partner is help you humanise your approach to business so you can reposition yourselves as a partner rather than a commoditised vendor with your clients…

Oh, you don’t see the irony?

How funny!

Get stuffed.